Pretty sure I went up four pants sizes IN A YEAR.  I went shopping with my mom and I just kept trying on larger sizes and I couldn’t find any that fit me and then I almost cried.

I wish I didn’t care so much.  I wish I didn’t feel like shit.  This is actually the fattest I’ve ever been and I hate myself for it.  I like my new clothes and I like my new haircut and everything but I still feel gross.  And it’s my fault for feeling this way because I could change how I look if I worked harder but I’m so lazy.  I wish I could just stop eating.  I wish I wasn’t so unhappy.